F.E.A.R

I remembered when I was in my first year and training for Jessup, in one of our training sessions, we were asked to write on a piece of paper what we feel is our biggest strength. And I wrote this: "I move on in spite of FEAR". Then Dr Majdah asked, "But then it means that you do feel fear?" and I answered "Of course, who doesn't."

I remembered a quotation I read once: Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to rise above it.

I realised that I was at the lowest point of my life once because I allowed myself to remain stuck BECAUSE I was afraid. I allowed myself to be defeated by Fear, when I used to be someone who always strive to do what I know is best for me although I was fearful.

As the day of my departure approaches, I'm being flooded by a gut-wrenching fear. Fear of not being able to adapt and adjust to a new place, new environment. Fear of being alone and lonely in a foreign place. Fear of missing, and missing out on, my family and friends here in Malaysia. Fear of being dissapointed by what I hope would be a turning point in my life. Fear of making wrong choices. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.

But I am proud that despite the gut-wrenching fear, I feel a kind of strength and peace inside myself, to face it, swallow it, take a deep gulp of air, and MOVE ON in spite of F.E.A.R.