tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23162799623426288102024-03-13T16:59:09.682+00:00WALKING CONTRADICTIONWhen the Diva Speaks
“Beyond the East the sunrise, beyond the West the sea, And the East and West the wander-thirst that will not let me be.” (Gerald Gould)ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-50962176663612950832013-01-11T06:38:00.000+00:002013-01-11T06:38:38.954+00:00:)My first published article in international citation-indexed academic journal...<div>
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<a href="http://www.ajbasweb.com/ajbas/2012/Special%20oct/331-341.pdf">http://www.ajbasweb.com/ajbas/2012/Special%20oct/331-341.pdf</a></div>
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ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-61599502977547530052012-06-08T08:24:00.000+01:002012-06-08T08:48:22.876+01:00Curiouser and Curiouser<div style="text-align: left;">
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My new blog, 'Curiouser and Curiouser', which will be
solely dedicated to random knowledge and fun facts that is of interest to me (a
collection of my varied interest in (hopefully!) diverse areas), as
distinguished from this 'personal' blog. Feel free to drop by if interested ;)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://stillshehauntsme.blogspot.com/">http://stillshehauntsme.blogspot.com/</a></div>
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For those who
are wondering or are unfamiliar with the phrase, 'Curiouser and Curiouser' is a
very famous statement made by Lewis Caroll's protagonist, Alice, in the book<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>Alice's Adventures in Wonderland</i>.
The original quote came from Chapter 2 of the book:-<br />
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"’Curiouser and curiouser!’ Cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English). ’Now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!’ (for when she looked down at her feet they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off)."<br />
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The phrase "curiouser and curiouser" has overtime become a literary shorthand for feelings of wonder and disbelief, and is widely used by writers to evoke those feelings, hence the reason I chose it for this new blog (besides being enthralled by everything Lewis Caroll @ Charles Dodgson for some time) i.e. because the blog is to contain things; knowledge and facts; that I have come across and which has evoke in me feelings of excitement, of wonder and disbelief.<br />
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And the reason I use "stillshehauntsme" in the URL of the blog is because the phrase "still she haunts me" also comes from a Lewis Caroll poem on Alice, whereby the poem illustrates the origin of the book. "Still She Haunts Me" is also the title of a biographical work by Katie Roiphe on Lewis Caroll, the allure of the phrase is actually due to countless speculation surrounding Lewis Caroll's fixation with the 'real' Alice (which most of them I find ridiculous due to non-understanding of the mores of Lewis Caroll's era, you guys can Google them up if you want to know further). An excerpt of the poem:-</div>
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"<i>Still
she haunts me</i>, phantomwise,</div>
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Alice moving
under skies<o:p></o:p></div>
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Never seen by
waking eyes."<o:p></o:p></div>
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And also because all the other URL's I
wanted to use for my blog is not vailable anymore, such as:<o:p></o:p></div>
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1. 'aradia' - my online name for so
long, which I got from the character of a blind witch maiden in one of the
Night World series I used to read in my teenage days,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>Black Dawn</i>, Night World being a
book series on the alternate world of vampires, witches and warewolves. Yesss,
long before the world became obsessed with vampires and Twillight and Edward
Cullen, I have gone through that stage looooooooooong ago! haha<o:p></o:p></div>
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2. 'alltheworldsastage' - "All
the world's a stage" is a phrase from William Shakespeare's play As You Like
It, which begins a monologue by the melancholic character, Jaques, in Act II Scene VII.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So guys, do check out my new blog
Curiouser and Curiouser!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-22933121497518276782012-05-02T08:18:00.001+01:002012-05-02T10:58:10.922+01:00WE THE PEOPLE WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE<a href="http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/sideviews/article/analysing-bersih-3.0-malaysian-in-the-us/">http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/sideviews/article/analysing-bersih-3.0-malaysian-in-the-us/</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/sideviews/article/analysing-bersih-3.0-malaysian-in-the-us/"></a>
Just would like to post here and share, my comments on FB to Farhana's posting of this excellent article from the Malaysian Insider. My comments reflect some of my thoughts post-Bersih 3.0. :-<br />
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"Precisely. The stupidest thing to me is that the government (via police) is justifying their actions of the whole brutal shenanigans- tear-gas, hauling people in masses to the police station, etc- because it is an illegal assembly. But why must it be illegal in the first place? The government made it an illegal assembly! without justifications. It is still beyond me why people cannot be allowed to gather peacefully so long as their cause is not "supportive" of the government. Then we might as well be a communist country then. Just obey, no questions asked.<br />
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When such a large number of people gathers (remarkable!), and some violence did ensue, then the problem is that it is impossible to positively determine who started it off. Because once it is started, of course there will be a chain of reaction, as people caught in violence (both sides) would have no choice but to defend themselves. Here it is going to be a he says-she says situation. Bersih participants started the violence. No, the police started the violence. Both sides are personally involved, and hence none of their words can be taken in value. THEREFORE, we turn to the words of the IMPARTIAL observers, the international observers and international journalists, etc, who were in the middle of it TO OBSERVE AND REPORT with no personal stake involved. (Now those who says the international people are actually biased because they want the opposition to rule so that the West can exploit the country and destroy Islam, etc, u know the usual, are clearly delusional. Malaysia ni tak sehebat mane pun untuk diorang nak exploit. Bukan lah kita ni kaya sangat dengan minyak pun. Bukan lah ekonomi kita ni mantap pun. Bukan lah kita ni Islamic sangat pun, tengok lah perangai2 majority Muslim kat Malaysia ni. So sila sedar diri sebelum nak perasan negara luar nak ekspolit kita.) And I saw on the Singapore news (ok ni pun mesti ada orang akan argue "oh Singapore memang nak menjatuhkan Malaysia". Please. The reason I watched the Singapore news is because of course la these kind of report would not be shown on Malaysian governement-controlled news channel), INTERNATIONAL observers, from India, etc, Australian ambassador and so on, stating that they were in the midst of it and the people were indeed gathering PEACEFULLY, and the brutality and tear-gassing from the police were totally UNPROVOKED. (I guess the police were attacking just for the sake of it being an 'illegal' assembly as their justification, as above)<br />
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Now, I am not blaming the police, and yes we should not maki hamun the police (I read someone's status saying what if polis2 tu mak bapak kita and kita tengok org lain mencarut2 tentang polis), but we should instead blame the people WHO INSTRUCTED THE POLICE i.e. our beloved government. Seriously, nak tergelak tengok press statement Najib on why it is ok to use tear-gas on the people. Because using tear-gas is better than if lost of lives were to happen. Problem is, if the brutality was unprovoked, i.e. it is the police side who started the violence, then why are you using fear of lost of lives as an excuse to tear-gas the people? You, yourself incite the violence, then u use that as an excuse to further attack the people. Brilliant. (It is not that you can just use tear-gas whenever there is a large crowd gathering for 'fear' some lives might be lost if the gathering continues. You only use it when the crowd gets unruly and HENCE threatening lives. But not when YOU are the one being 'unruly'. Please understand the fine distinction here MR. Prime Minister). <br />
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To me, whatever has happened, BERSIH 3.0 is a success. Why? Because more important than the actual demands made by Bersih 3.0 is the MESSAGE that it seeks to send to the government. That is, the people will not lay idle and let you make a mockery of our democratic system, let you run rampant with corruptions, let you trample on our rights, and let you do whatever the hell you want just because you are in power. WE THE PEOPLE WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE."<br />
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Now, I would like to add.<br />
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Yes I am pro-Bersih 3.0, for the MESSAGE that it seeks to put forth to
the government- Accountability. But I am also a realist, therefore I
know sentiment would mean both sides would try to put the blame 100% on
people on the other side of the fence. BUT, what is important now is
how this nation MOVE FORWARD post-Bersih 3.0. And so on this point I
think Art Harun says it best on his blog (and I qu<span class="text_exposed_hide"></span><span class="text_exposed_show">ote): <br /> <br />
"I say, apart from that, the Bersih rally reveals a nation which is not
at ease with her people and on the other hand, a people which is
suspicious of their nation. It shows that at times, all of us could
lose our head and descend into some kind of a contagious sickness.<br /> <br />
I just pray that soon, all of us would regain our collective
consciousness; regain our rationality and reasonableness; regain that
missing piece of humanity. And then perhaps we would sit down, with a
cup of coffee in hand, and ponder whether we would want to continue
with our waywardness.<br /> <br /> Or whether we would want to heal this nation; get back on our feet and move forward as one people with one purpose.<br /> <br /> In unity."</span> <br />
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Whatever it is, for my thoughts and admittedly my sentiments, underlying it all is my utmost and unshakeable belief in the Rule of Law (NOT the Law of Rule) wherein every democratic government, as Malaysia claims to be, must be reminded lest they forget, that WE THE PEOPLE WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-53154137403108257022011-12-12T17:10:00.005+00:002011-12-12T17:56:03.609+00:00Forever AfterOnce upon a time, in a faraway land, there live a prince and a princess. The prince and princess grew up worlds apart from each other and had never met one another while growing up. One day while traveling to another kingdom to learn the secrets of the world, chance and fate brought them together and the prince and princess met and decided that they like one another. Very much like one another indeed.<br /><br />So, what happens next? Well, since this is a fairy tale, of course what happens next is that the price and princess fell in love with each other... And then?? Then, they live happily ever after..oh wait, no no! Not yet! Why?<br /><br />Well, because the prince and princess realised that before you can live happily ever after, there are many obstacles that you have to go through first. What kind of obstacles? Well, every kind of obstacles from slaying dragons (the princess realised that she had a lot of unknown dragons from her 7 past-lives that are coming back to haunt her) to broomstick problems (the prince and princess lives in 2 different kingdoms far away from each other and when their broom sticks are broken they dont get to travel to meet each other for a looonngg time which makes the princess sad) to communication problems (since the prince and princess comes from different kingdoms they speak different languages and although they tried to learn a new language together, the new language is very very tough and the prince and princess occasionally gets in trouble because of this).<br /><br />But the biggest obstacle for the prince and princess is to understand each other. You see, the prince and princess are sooooo different from one another. This is because the prince's fairy godmother is from Mars and the princess' fairy godmother is from Venus, and so the prince and princess learn different things from their fairy godmothers, well, polar opposites actually! And so the prince and princess think different things, like different things, feel different things, and are prone to different things altogether! You want to know the secret of this? It's because when the prince was born his fairy godmother blew into him essence of the earth and therefore the prince grew up to be a very grounded person, and also very hard to move like boulders of the earth. The princess on the other hand, well her fairy godmother blew into her essence of the wind and she grew up to be a very temperamental person. Like the wind, she also tends to sway where the wind blows.<br /><br />So what happens to the prince and princess i hear you ask? Well, to tell you the truth nobody knows! Not even the very wise oracle who lives on the mountain. Well, not yet anyway. Because the princess is thinking whether their vast differences can ever be reconciled and the prince is thinking why the hell is it so hard to understand her.<br /><br />So boys and girls, let us pray hard together for the poor prince and princess. Pray hard that they will look deep into their hearts and find their way, find their way to each other, Forever After.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-11422152820966687232011-11-28T15:22:00.001+00:002011-11-29T05:42:19.988+00:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p-CQnWKZ2XU/TtOngLv2NkI/AAAAAAAAADQ/wnCHudQjsf0/s1600/guys.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 285px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-p-CQnWKZ2XU/TtOngLv2NkI/AAAAAAAAADQ/wnCHudQjsf0/s320/guys.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680067726395455042" /></a><br /><br />In my arrogance, I forgotARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-21879855264236716332011-10-16T16:32:00.006+01:002011-10-16T16:47:47.783+01:00Between Being Feminist & Being DelusionalLove the point made here: in our quest of empowering women, we made the fatal error of putting man as the standard. It then becomes counter-productive to our initial objective. We can never be like men, and who says we should?? I just read a book called Fight Like A Girl (Who Says It's A Bad Thing), although the author argues using biblical reference here & there, but the position is the same in Islam. I'm proud that in every "fight" and battles in life that I have faced, I have always fought like a girl i.e. using my natural God-given strength as a woman, rather than trying to fight like another being whose characteristics I do not possess. I hate it when people say women are too emotional, like being emotional is a bad thing. I love & value logic, but if everyone functions on the basis of logic alone, with no regards to feelings and intuition (i.e. if everyone of us wants to be the stoic-logical man in all situations, no compromise) society would eventually be soul-less.. <br /><br />Being a Feminist DOES NOT mean fighting to be just like a man, it means fighting to be WHO YOU ARE, to be the best that you can be & to fulfill your true potential, fighting to have an opinion & not to have others view shoved down your throat, INCLUDING the view of how you should be less feminine (and every single thing that word entails) and more masculine. <br /><br />So ladies, lets draw the line here, Between Being Feminist & Being Delusional<br /><br />http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2010/12/19/a-woman%E2%80%99s-reflection-on-leading-prayer/ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-49755658052919712972011-09-15T19:32:00.004+01:002011-09-15T19:52:50.404+01:00I WISHI wish I could tell you<br />Of this deep abyss in my heart<br />That i tried to fill with your words and your voice<br />But sometimes the loneliness that creeps up, just eats up, from within...<br /><br />I wish I could tell you<br />Of how at times when i try to conjure up<br />Your sweet face and your dimpled smile and your soft laughter<br />They get blurred out, and muted down, by the vastness of space and the passage of time...<br /><br />I wish I could tell you<br />Of the tears that would sometimes fall<br />When I miss in pain or I hope in vain<br />But I knew in my heart, no love nor care nor want in the world can change, the unchangeable...<br /><br />And so I continue to wish, oh how I wish so... I WISHARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-15786101434987219922011-08-22T18:17:00.009+01:002011-08-27T10:49:51.610+01:00Less Than IdealYes, I know our situation is less than ideal...
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<br />It's not ideal to be separated by all these miles...To not be able to drop by each other's place or office when the fancy strikes, or not being able to call for you to pick me up when I need some rescuing (given the chance, I'm always in need of rescuing ;p)...or to steal some time to have a quick lunch or dinner together. Because we're so far away from each other. Well, physically far away. But in truth you are always so close...because you are in my heart. And it just feels to me like you are always right by my side. Every step of the way, in everything that I do, I can just feel you there with me. Because you are my best friend.
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<br />It's not ideal that we don't get to see each other as often as I would like. Well, ideally I would like to see you everyday. Okay, once a week is good enough. But I know that's not possible given the distance. The physical distance. But it's ok, at least I hear from you everyday without fail. We each know the detail of our everyday life. We share all that's happening to us, everything we are doing, all the things we are thinking, the things that are bothering and upsetting us, the things that are making us happy and bringing us joy. We are sharing our life with each other, and like you said, I "see" you more often that the people I literally see day in day out. Because I "see" you with my mind and with my heart. And sometimes I see you in my dreams *blush*. I always see your smile. And it's a bonus that everytime we do get to meet I feel so excited like every date is our first date. I don't take for granted the time we get to spend with each other, and that makes every moment so special. Because it's priceless.
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<br />Yes, I know our situation is less than ideal...But I will not trade in what we have together in exchange for normalcy. Because what we have together makes me happy, happier than I've been in a long, loooonnggg time. What we have together gives me peace, and makes me want to be a better person. So I will not for one second consider giving it up for all those ideals.
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<br />Yes, I know our situation is less than ideal...But it's a small price to pay, when what I get in return is YOU. When you have Perfect, who cares if it's Less Than Ideal.
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<br />:)ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-36749903841377685172011-07-17T11:21:00.003+01:002011-07-17T11:26:19.614+01:00A Little Girl Who Looks Like MeWhen the mood strikes me, yes, I think this is my biggest wish...<br /><br />To have a little girl of my own... a little girl who looks like me.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-30004346475703139642011-06-29T07:33:00.005+01:002011-08-27T10:56:01.048+01:00SEJIWA<iframe width="400" height="330" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rm01Wzt162c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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<br />"Pada irama ku berpesan
<br />Lagu ini ditujukan
<br />Padanya yang Tersayang
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<br />Kasihku kau pernah dipersia
<br />Lalu kubawa cintaku
<br />Sebagai penawarnya
<br />Biar lukamu masih terasa
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<br />Sesaat engkau tidak ku temu
<br />Bulan seakan pilu
<br />Tiada dapat beradu
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<br />Begitu jika engkau membisu
<br />Badai jauh dilautan
<br />Tiada ketepian
<br />Sebegitu cintaku padamu
<br />
<br />Usahlah cinta dibawa bersama
<br />Ditenggelami mentari di timur
<br />Gelap gelita tiada bercahaya
<br />Ku tiada berdaya
<br />
<br />Ku ingin selalu di sampingmu
<br />Tiap waktu siang melambai malam
<br />Bagaikan senja denyutan cinta kita
<br />Penyambung hadirnya
<br />
<br />Akan ku bina istana bahagia
<br />Menjadi lambang kasih berpanjangan
<br />Hentikan airmata pedih kenangan
<br />Yang mencakar perasaan
<br />Mekarlah bunga cinta
<br />Seharum wangi kemboja
<br />Mekarlah bunga cinta
<br />Di taman kita sejiwa"
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<br />I guess you can say that I am a romantic at heart. Deep down, very very veryyyy deep down at heart :p
<br />(That's why people are always surprised when they found out that I, who very seldom listens to contemporary malay songs, am a big fan of the 90's rock songs (atau dalam kata lainnye, rock kapak yg jiwang karats tuuu haha)
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<br />The problem is, I will very2 seldom show it, despite feeling like it. Is it ego? Is it to safe face? Or is it protecting my own heart and protecting my own self? Another big problem is, my track record (if you can call the measly number a record anyway) has shown that I will usually fall for guys who are NOT by nature romantics. Nak kata geli dengan lelaki2 romantic and jiwang pun boleh jugak :p So kau tanggung la sendiri ye Aliza bile kau tgh mood2 nak romantic tu kalau tak di layan, hahaha :p
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<br />Anyway, coming back to the song, I have always thought that this song is the ultimate sweet and romantic song. And I guess subconsciously (or consciously tapi taknak ngaku?? hehe), I have always dreamed that some day someone (someone I like of course) would dedicate this song to me :p If it does happen, I think it would be one of THE most romantic thing someone can do for me! But that someone must mean it of course (that goes without saying)! Banyak la pulak demand nye ye aliza..
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<br />I guess why I like the lyrics to this song is because 1) the beginning of the song (esp. 2nd para.) I think is applicable to me 2) Admit it, ALL girls, deep down, DREAM of 'someone' who will worship them (worship the ground they walk on!) and who will pander and fawn over them, pine after them.. Ya, ya, I know that sounds a bit too much REALISTICALLY, of course I know that (thanks to watching too much Hindi movies I guess, esp. starring the King of Romance Shah Rukh Khan! Hehe :p). But ADMIT IT ladies, we have all DREAMED of having that or getting that (nama pun DREAM, so sgt la tipis harapan untuk ianya menjadi kenyataan kan :p)
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<br />Like I said,banyak la pulak demand nye ye aliza.. Aliza, aliza.. would anyone want to even dedicate it to an old fatty like you? layak ke?? *uhuk*
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<br />But there's no harm in continuing to hope and dream rite...I mean everybody dreams of meeting and ending up with their soulmate right, no matter how unromantic or hati kering you are, you would still hope for that..meeting your soulmate..... Now that I think about it, I think the title of the song is a loose translation of that word, "soulmate" - SEJIWA!ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-28400997537891770642011-01-19T11:38:00.006+00:002011-01-19T11:49:42.411+00:00Kerna kita semua berbezaKita semua benar berbeza.<br />Memang mudah; rasa menyampah,<br />pada apa yang tak sama,<br />dengan yang kita sudah biasa.<br /><br />Tapi mungkin kita perlu terima,<br />butakan saja mata,<br />pada perbezaan,<br />tapi lihat pada kebaikan; yang ada pada setiap insan.<br /><br />Kadang kita perlu cuba,<br />melihat dari kaca mata,<br />dia yang sedang kita nilai,<br />nanti kita lebih memahami; dari membenci.<br /><br />Ini juga peringatan,<br />untuk tuan empunya badan,<br />yang menulis satu lakaran,<br />isu biasa dalam kehidupan.<br /><br />Lebih banyak drama,<br />lebih banyak warna,<br />lebih banyak pengajarannya.<br />Kerna kita semua berbeza.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-24046539407111160002010-12-06T09:15:00.001+00:002010-12-06T09:16:52.145+00:00Woe be to meWoe be to them who do not know what they want.<br /><br />Woe be to me.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-63668693805976400012010-11-25T07:50:00.003+00:002010-11-25T07:57:29.564+00:00Knowing and AcceptingKnowing and accepting that a person was a bad match for you does not mean a small part of your heart can now stop loving that person.<br /><br />Knowing and accepting that a small part of your heart can never stop loving a person does not mean that you would ever want to get back together with that person.<br /><br />Knowing and accepting that you never ever want to get back together with a person does not mean you are not afraid and fearful to consider opening up your heart for another person.<br /><br />Knowing and accepting that you are afraid and fearful to consider opening up your heart for another person does not mean you are not hoping that someday you will.<br /><br />It's all about Knowing and Accepting.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-55464784644728510302010-11-16T05:19:00.002+00:002010-11-16T05:24:57.704+00:00Ain't It FunnyIt seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me<br />It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be<br />But there are facts in our lives we can never change<br />Just tell me that you understand and feel the same<br /><br />This perfect romance that I've created in my mind<br />I'd live a thousand lives each one with you right by my side<br />But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance<br />And so it seems like we'll never have the chance<br /><br />Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny<br />And you can't move on even though you try<br />Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel<br />Oh, I wish this could be real<br /><br />Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life<br />And you don't wanna face what's wrong or right<br />Ain't it strange how fate can play a part<br />In the story of your heart<br /><br />Sometimes I think that a true love can never be<br />I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me<br />Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain<br />And I don't think that I could face it all again<br /><br />I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about<br />A deeper love I've found in you and I no longer doubt<br />You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made<br />And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid<br /><br />Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny<br />And you can't move on even though you try<br />Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel<br />Oh, I wish this could be real<br /><br />Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life<br />And you don't wanna face what's wrong or right<br />Ain't it strange how fate can play a part<br />In the story of your heart<br /><br />I locked away my heart<br />But you just set it free<br />Emotions I felt held me back from what my life should be<br />I pushed you far away<br />And yet you stayed with me<br />I guess this means that you and me were meant to be<br /><br /><object width="450" height="362"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/liuFSBW06NA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/liuFSBW06NA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="450" height="362"></embed></object><br /><br />JLo, 'Ain't It Funny'ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-81701690546820446792010-10-25T05:00:00.003+01:002011-08-27T11:28:12.342+01:00The Past, The Present, The FutureEach can be confusing in its own way. Utterly confusing.
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<br />The Past will come back to haunt you, when you least expect it, catching you by surprise, pushing you into a tailspin of emotion that can leave you feeling hollow inside, an emotional wreck.
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<br />The Present can seem to be so dismal, sometimes grey, sometime a myriad of colours but always predominantly grey, where you can lose yourself in the mundane, the habitual, the boring, the incessant repetition bordering on hellish.
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<br />The Future can be the worst beast of all, with its thousands of uncertainties, making you calculate every action and every move, afraid that the consequences in the future might destroy what you've worked for all your life, but in effect paralysing you with FEAR, fear of the unknown.
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<br />But the nastiest is when in a single moment, you reel with CONFUSION as if walking in a dream, when they all come crashing together, The Past, The Present, The Future.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-86839459055276123792010-10-04T09:27:00.001+01:002010-10-04T09:49:26.752+01:00It Feels Like The End Of A Love AffairAnd yes, I of all people should know how that feels like. When you feel a kind of loss that is so acute that you just feel numb for some time, until one day the tears would come unexpectedly in floods. When you feel a kind of emptiness that is paradoxically so vast that all the matter in the world would not be able to fill up the empty space in your heart.<br /><br />After a year of living on a high, it feels like I have now crashed and burned.<br /><br />Definitely, It Feels Like The End Of A Love Affair.ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-32042144800129353632010-09-08T10:33:00.001+01:002010-09-08T10:38:19.757+01:00Terkenang JuaKau bersinar dalam hati ini<br />Kan terbawa manapun ku berdiri<br /><br />*Ziana Zain, Terkenang Jua*ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-12957561289817571992010-09-07T12:46:00.007+01:002010-09-07T15:38:10.552+01:00Terima Kasih Ya AllahYa Allah,<br /><br />Aku tidak layak untuk apa-apa<br />Siapa aku untuk meminta-minta<br />Aku ini penuh dengan dosa<br />Hati ini penuh dengan curiga<br /><br />Namun kasih sayang Mu tidak bertepi<br />Kau bantu aku bila aku merintih<br />Kau beri aku ketawa selepas aku menangis<br />Doaku Kau jawab tidak Kau tepis<br /><br />Terima kasih atas nikmat mu yang tak terhingga<br />Terima kasih kerana beriku keluarga yang bahagia<br />Terima kasih kerana menjaga mereka yang ku cinta<br />Terima kasih kerana di sisiku Kau sentiasa Ada<br /><br />Terima Kasih Ya Allah<br /><br />-ALIZA-<br /><br /><object width="415" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nq90j9ykUf0?fs=1&hl=en_GB"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nq90j9ykUf0?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="415" height="336"></embed></object>ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-36081950696932448322010-08-13T02:31:00.003+01:002011-08-27T11:18:52.232+01:00DEMI MASA..A friend (who, like me, is also feeling nostalgic in contemplation of leaving the U.K very soon) asked this question "where exactly was I this time last year?"
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<br />I know where I was this time last year: Broken, and a long way from happy. Fast forward one year: I'm a happy bunny :D Alhamdulillah!
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<br />Sesungguhnya, DEMI MASA..ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-29420616965812277502010-08-06T01:54:00.001+01:002010-08-06T01:59:13.001+01:00AlhamdulillahFor unexpected glad tidings...Alhamdulillah!ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-42660705591484670902010-08-05T02:58:00.009+01:002010-08-05T03:29:01.805+01:00Dear Blog (Entry 2)Dear Blog,<br /><br />Has been feeling a little bit under the weather this past few days...I feel sooooo sad about my laptop going kaput. I've just had it for 11 months! Rase menyesal beli DELL, should have gone on with my initial plan to buy a SONY Vio, but wanted to save money for coming to the U.K. then.<br /><br />I feel soooo sad at the imminent day when I would have to leave Oxford and the U.K. for good...I am sooooo going to miss this place. I have had the BEST year of my life, and does not feel ready to let all this go. Hence also why I'm so angsy about my laptop, I'm afraid I will lose all my data including all the photos I've taken tru out this one year. Yes, only THE WORLD'S BIGGEST FOOL does not back-up the data in her laptop - enter Exhibit A (Yours Trully).<br /><br />An unexpected great opportunity presented itself to me (which would be good for my career), got me super excited, and now is hanging on the balance! Seriously, if it does not materialize, I am going to be SOOOOOO disappointed (yet again!) and for the love of God, I don't know whether I can take another disappointment at the moment! Praying hard to God (nak buat solat hajat tapi period lah pulak!) that it will work out! I don't know why I'm such a pessimist nowadays...and seems that the more you expect a disappointment, the more it will happen, like a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy. So I know I have to stop it and be more POSITIVE (the Laws of Attractions and what not, tho I'm not very keen on all that psychobable mumbo jumbo really), but I can't help it, it's just like my heart has refused to hope for anything anymore. I guess bcz it has been disappointed in such a way that defies explanation, so it's like it is now too afraid to hope for good things to happen. Like a variation of "Building Walls Around Your Heart" or sumthing (yes, I know I'm not making sense, when my heart is heavy and weary, I can't be my usual structured self).<br /><br />And don't even get me started on that OTHER thing.......SIGH.<br /><br />Watashi,<br />ARADIAARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-72918257776503114792010-08-03T00:23:00.005+01:002010-08-03T00:39:30.142+01:00Losing My ReligionOh, life is bigger<br />It's bigger than you<br />And you are not me<br />The lengths that I will go to<br />The distance in your eyes<br />Oh no, I've said too much<br />I set it up<br /><br />That's me in the corner<br />That's me in the spotlight<br />Losing my religion<br />Trying to keep up with you<br />And I don't know if I can do it<br />Oh no, I've said too much<br />I haven't said enough<br />I thought that I heard you laughing<br />I thought that I heard you sing<br />I think I thought I saw you try<br /><br />Every whisper<br />Of every waking hour<br />I'm choosing my confessions<br />Trying to keep an eye on you<br />Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool<br />Oh no, I've said too much<br />I set it up<br /><br />Consider this<br />Consider this<br />The hint of the century<br />Consider this<br />The slip <br />That brought me to my knees, failed<br />What if all these fantasies<br />Come flailing around<br />Now I've said too much<br />I thought that I heard you laughing<br />I thought that I heard you sing<br />I think I thought I saw you try<br /><br />That was just a dream<br />That was just a dream<br /><br />That's me in the corner<br />That's me in the spotlight<br />Losing my religion<br />Trying to keep up with you<br />And I don't know if I can do it<br />Oh no, I've said too much<br />I haven't said enough<br />I thought that I heard you laughing<br />I thought that I heard you sing<br />I think I thought I saw you try<br /><br />But that was just a dream<br />Try, cry, why try?<br />That was just a dream<br />Just a dream, just a dream<br />Dream <br /><br /><object width="375" height="306"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/AwUZVkKfE70&hl=en_GB&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AwUZVkKfE70&hl=en_GB&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="375" height="306"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />R.E.M. *Losing My Religion*ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-39164567224489126132010-07-27T14:11:00.010+01:002010-08-14T20:08:35.779+01:002 Guys, A Girl & A Foreign PlaceDulu engkau pernah bertakhta<br />Di sudut hati ku yang paling dalam<br />Walau kadang hati ku mungkin meronta<br />Tapi kau ku lepaskan kerna kita bukan jodohnya<br /><br />Dan engkau mungkin aku minati <br />Mencuri hati tanpa sebab tanpa alasan<br />Tapi bukan aku sifat nya menunggu yang tak mahu<br />Mungkinkah kau juga perlu aku lupakan<br /><br />Aku senang ditemani cuma dia<br />Dia yang aku faham luhur tutur jiwanya<br />Dia yang kuat dengan senyum tawa di bibirnya<br />Biar kadang hatinya senang bisa jua terluka<br /><br />Di bumi ini yang indah tanpa kata<br />Di bumi asing yang kini sebati di hati nurani<br />Di bumi yang akan aku tinggalkan dan pasti aku rindui<br />Biarlah segala kisah bersemadi di bumi ini...<br /><br />This is my story, of 2 Guys, A Girl & A Foreign PlaceARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-42403492387129167212010-07-27T01:46:00.003+01:002010-07-27T02:58:48.225+01:00And I Quote(2)Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing,<br />and rightdoing,<br />there is a field.<br />I'll meet you there.<br /><br />~Rumi~ ...And I Quote(2)ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2316279962342628810.post-10155563727868533052010-07-25T12:34:00.006+01:002011-08-27T11:19:16.851+01:00Whose Reality - Yours or Mine?Inception - one word: AWESOME!
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<br />Yes, the cast gave a stellar performance. And the story line is near perfection - like a big complex jigsaw puzzle that fits together with no loose end. And I love the ending bcz it's kind of like Schrodinger's Cat. Whether the totem stopped spinning or continued spinning does not happen, until we (the viewers) ourself make it happen by the conclusion we draw from the ending.
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<br />But what I truly love about the movie is the idea behind it. To me the real idea behind it (yes, I know it's not a novel idea) can be seen from the scene where the old man in the sort-of basement with a lot of people sleeping/dreaming denied that all of these people come to sleep, but that "they come to be woken up". The idea is this - Who's to say what you perceive as reality is not really just a dream, and vice versa.
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<br />To me there is something distinctly religious about this idea. I have always understood this world, this world that we perceive as reality, with things that we can feel see touch and taste, as but a fleeting dream. To me our soul is THERE, dreaming this dream, before we are woken up to the REAL eternal life. It's like Plato's Shadows in The Cave philosophy. But to a lot of people in this world, this "concrete" world IS reality, and any "abstract" notion of the 'afterlife' is just a dream that we come up with in order to help us cope with that reality.
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<br />But when you talk about Reality, THE Question is this: Whose Reality - Yours or Mine?ARADIAhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05441427011396914280noreply@blogger.com0